There are articles on coaching the uncoachable, and as I read a few of them this week, I realized I am one of those uncoachable people. I don’t get the results promised by the coach and I am left with tidbits that work but don’t really get me to the finish line. So what’s the issue? Is it me or is it the coach? Well it’s both. It’s me for thinking a narrow, categorized process will work for me and it’s the coach for forging ahead trying their best to apply their approach without the ability to deviate. What worked for them often does not work for me.
So what’s the issue? Well, in my opinion, it’s the fact that my brain processes information the way I learned to process it, in a scatter pattern of thoughts; it’s not linear and most coaching approaches are linear. You start at A (problem) and end in Z (results).
But I learned almost everything by trial and error. I had no mentors, or real life examples of what A to Z looked like so I learned as I went along and then put the pieces together once I understood what the whole picture looked like. So in my case, categorized approaches do not work, they only give me a piece of the puzzle without me understanding what Z is supposed to be.
I’m a self proclaimed polymath, in a lose sense. Polymaths are individuals whose knowledge spans a substantial number of subjects, known to draw on complex bodies of knowledge to solve specific problems. They do not fit in any one box. I can wire electricity, negotiate a contract, play an instrument, design a wedding, take apart an iphone and put it back together, write a will, tell you the model and year of almost any classic car, talk about ancient history, chemistry, art, business, international culture, books, finance, music, sovereign wealth funds, the list goes on.
Some famous polymaths include: Leonardo Da Vinci, Ben Franklin, Isaac Newton, Galileo, Marie Curie, Thomas Jefferson, Aristotle, and Plato.
Now, my intention is not to vent about my deficiencies or put myself in a category with these people (but one could aspire), it is to present the idea that coaching can be malleable, and I’d argue should be in certain circumstances, especially with polymaths or others who do not easily fit in a category.
Coaches are told to find the “Avatar”, of their ideal client: “a female lawyer who has young children and wants to spend more time with them without sacrificing her career”, is one example. And this is great for the person who fits the description. But what if you are stuck and aren’t sure what you’re looking for or how to get it? Going to a coach who categorizes with specificity will only get you so far.
So if you ever find yourself in a situation where you start singing “Stuck in the Middle With You”:
Well I don’t know why I came here tonight
I’ve got the feeling that something ain’t right
Trying to make some sense of it all
But I can see it makes no sense at all
you’re in a situation that is only going to frustrate you, make you question your capabilities, and probably be unproductive. Sure you can get tidbits from the experience, but this is probably not the most efficient way to move forward.
Because a person with a polymathic personality is an inquisitive individual committed to continuous learning in a variety of domains.
Some may call this ADHD and mental health issues suffered by polymaths are elaborated because they are unique and don’t conform, but there is no evidence that polymathic personalities all have ADHD.
Some needs are just more complex than one specific, categorized issue. So when I’m asked what results I help my clients achieve, I respond with a question: “What result do you want to achieve, where are you stuck?” and then we can figure it out from there. My particular skills are to help clients clean out their mental closet, metaphorically speaking, and find that great pair of shoes they wore to that party years ago on the night that still rolls around in their memories, then get their mental closet all organized so they can find those shoes again when they need them (or get rid of them if they evoke negative feelings), to achieve clarity on whatever the answer to the question is.
Because those metaphorical shoes are tied to a memory that evokes an emotion that we want to feel again or want to stop acting on. So what’s in your mental closet that you are trying to reclaim or get rid of? How are you trying to apply it today? Why is it important? And, does it fit onto a neat category?
Ask yourself these questions and if a coach does not tick the boxes you created, move on. One size does not fit all and there are those of us out there that may appear to be uncoachable but are really just not getting the results from a categorized approach.
Nikolj Astrup, a blogger said:
We often tend just to do the things that support the identity that we have so well-defined in our heads. And the problem with that is that it’s f#@*ing boring and that we’re suddenly missing out on a lot of other interesting things and topics out there. We seriously limit ourselves.
Don’t limit yourself: if this resonates with you and you need help getting unstuck find someone who thinks similarly and get them to help you go to infinity and beyond.
