Next Thursday is Thanksgiving in the United States, which kickstarts the holiday season. There is shopping, traveling, cooking, cleaning, family gatherings, your weird uncle Al (or whatever his name is in your family) and a multitude of other stressors that press on us for an entire month until the year comes to an end.
But it’s all worth it, right? Because after all the hullabaloo, the year ends and we get to start all over with a brightened optimism as the clock magically resets at midnight, ringing in a new year.
Carols are sung, decorations are hung and with each bobble and light our to-do list takes flight (trying to channel Dr Seuss here). Where is Cindy Loohoo when you need her!
If this opening sounds a little cynical, it may just be. Because as I think of all the holidays I’ve celebrated, there have been joyous ones and heartbreaking ones: I’ve celebrated with childlike enthusiasm and some years have completely ignored them. So I know, for some, the holiday season can be the most wonderful time of the year but for others, it’s like a ticking time bomb bringing more than just the usual stress; it can cause panic attacks, depression and anxiety.
Family obligations can cause significant stressors depending of the level of harmony or discord within your own family and regrets of what we did or didn’t accomplish get magnified with a sense of urgency, carrying all of the unreconciled burdens of the past year into the new one.
We send cards, buy gifts and wish people happy holidays, asking what they are doing for the holiday. This can be an exceptionally difficult conversation for those who have had a tough year, lost a loved one, are alone or are struggling with mental illness.
So I am suggesting that we should all be joyful and thoughtful during the holiday season because it is a time for reflection, celebration, reconciliation. For those with families, it’s an opportunity to reconnect, and for everyone it provides time to pause and reassess.
But while we are rushing around trying to get everything done and wishing a happy holiday to all, are we taking the time to ask how those people we are well wishing are feeling; what went well this year; what did they struggle with; or if they need help accomplishing their goals for next year? Are we entering the deeper conversations and offering good will towards all (wo)men?
Now I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer, I love the holidays! But this year has been an exceptionally hard one for me and my family so I am probably being more reflective than usual; I’ve lost two family members, have ailing parents that required significant care and attention this year, my husband had a life threatening heart incident causing us to spend most of the summer in hospital rooms and I’ve started a business that is both emotionally and financially daunting. So the year coming to an end brings me both a big sigh of relief and panic as I ask myself if I accomplished my goals this year and will next year bring less strife?
What I do know is that emotions run high at this time of year but the holidays give us a generous opportunity for real connection. So rather than just extending a wish of happy holidays, take a pause to observe whether those around you need a little extra boost of support, extend your good will by having a deeper conversation and make it the most wonderful time of the year by helping others celebrate their accomplishments and overcome their difficulties.
Because peace on earth starts from within.
Happy Thanksgiving! To those who celebrate in the US and beyond, I wish you and your families the warmest wishes and give thanks that you reached the end of this newsletter post! Be kind to each other and I am here if you need a little extra support.
