Depending on your age, you may remember the Teletubbies. There is an episode where they spend the entire time running away (not sure what, I can’t remember, and Google isn’t giving me a good answer). In this scene they are running away from a pinwheel, go figure. This never made any sense to me, what exactly are they running away from? But over the years, this scene has replayed in my head over and over. When things are scary run away!
The Amygdala (part of our brain) controls our fight, flight or freeze reaction to perceived threats. And yes, I said “PERCEIVED”. Because the Amygdala has a primitive mechanism to protect us from threats, statrtng back in caveman days. But it doesn’t always get things right! Because past experiences create memories in your neurological database.
Here’s an example: When I was six years old, I was in summer camp, and we were going on a trip to the YMCA to go swimming. And, growing up in New York City, our mode of transportation was the subway. So the camp counselors brought us to the subway, and the train was arriving as we were climbing the stairs. So, they rushed about 20 six year olds up the stairs to run for the train. Well, I had a heart murmur as a kid and couldn’t go that fast so I fell behind, and by the time I reached the train platform the doors were closing and I was left watching the train pull away with my camp group inside and me, alone, on the platform.
The result of this experience was that for years, I would panic about missing the train or being left behind. And this was all a result of my amygdala storing this experience in my neurological database, “train coming = rush or you will be left behind and not be able to take care of yourself.”
Irrational, yes, but very real. So when we feel threatened or are confronted with a situation, that in our past experience was interpreted as a threat, our brain triggers a flight, flight or freeze reaction.
So the next time you, or someone you know, reacts in a way that makes no sense, such as stage fright, oddly aggressive behavior over something that seems minuscule to others, spontaneously leaves a meeting, pause before you judge or react. They may just need some time to regroup and process the situation more rationally once the spontaneous reaction has subsided.
For me, the Teletubbies are spot on, RUN AWAY! Whether physically or internally. But my being aware of this allows me to have a conversation with myself to check if the threat is real or just some memory stored in my data base that is no longer applicable. And, the more experience I have doin this, the quicker and easier it is to process and move on.
So be patient and empathetic when fight, flight or freeze presents itself. Because we are a little too old to be a Teletubby!
